


feel something

by cruciobee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Badass female character, Dark, Dominant Kylo Ren, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Heavy Angst, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Power Imbalance, Sparring, Steamy, The Force, a lot of challenging each other, she’s already a Sith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruciobee/pseuds/cruciobee
Summary: Talia Millenial hasn’t felt for years. Kylo Ren feels too much.She wants him to stop. He wants her to leave.Neither get what they desire.Until they begin to desire each other.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)





	feel something

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea what to put down here...so hi - I guess (:

The mind is a beautiful place, and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way, a wonderful construction of thought, action and feeling.

If you decided to keep the latter, that was. Not many of us did. It made the trials easier, the teachings, the killings and slaughter. But I had seen powerful people fall apart and crumble in front of my very eyes, because just for a second, in their blissful, makeshift happiness, the curtain of emotions fell. Right on top of them, engulfing them in never-ending waves of destructing emotions. Because once those who stopped feeling, who never wanted to feel, felt again - the guilt their unconscious mind carried would destroy them. Split their spirit and soul, cutting so deeply into a being that they died instantly, or sometimes - remained in tears until meeting their demise. I didn't know what was worst. Nor did I care.

Everyone who felt inclined to shut out their emotions was weak, and undeserving of having them in the first place.

Any real Sith should be able to deal with their feelings, only letting them out during a moment of pure meditation. Only when I was alone with the Force, would I let them run freely through my mind, occupying every single room the inner-world had.

But now was not a moment of meditation, and today was not a day for pathetic sentiment or pity. Today, I had a job to do. And I wanted to punch something. In no particular order.

Thoughts kept swirling in the forefront of my mind, and I realised that Snoke, and his supposed 'apprentice' would be able to hear them if they tried to. Cursing the Maker, I pushed them away, strolling down the halls of the Dreadnought that was dubbed The Supremacy. I snickered briefly, the Emperor had been right in saying the grandson of Vader was melodramatic. I halted in my tracks. Big doors, that would probably lead to a much bigger room, caught my attention. The strong presence behind the door was familiar, causing me to let out an irritated scoff.

Of course Snoke had built himself a _kriffing_ throne-room. What had I expected?

"We have a guest, Apprentice." The voice, which somehow was still as chilling as before, rang out into the large room. I couldn't keep in the snort. How entitled was this guy? "Ah - if it isn't the Mistress of the Mind. Always an honour, Talia."

"Spare me your bullshit, old man. I despise you, you despise me, let's keep it that way." My smile was bright, fake as ever, but still bright. I could feel a pair of eyes burn into my head from my left, but decided it best to keep my eyes on Snoke's.

“Why have you interrupted an important training session, than, Lord Talia?" Snoke spat, sitting straight in his throne.

I slowly began to feel that he didn't appreciate the eye-rolls I kept giving him.

"The Emperor wants to speak with you, about the Skywalker kid - I was in the area, so I came to give you a heads up, blah blah - that was all." I turned to leave, my sleek ponytail whipping around to follow as I began to stride for the door, heels clicking against the floor.

"Wait - " He called out. The guards -which were slightly force-sensitive men, in red getups- moved to block the exit. I raised my eyebrows at them. Did they actually think they could -

 _Woah_ , people in this part of the Galaxy really had no idea what Sith could do, _did they?_

" _What_?" I sneered, once again turning around. My eyes briefly shifted on Snoke's Apprentice. A man - about my age, seemingly, maybe a little bit older, sat kneeled at the foot of the throne. Stars, the sheer hatred in his soul was blinding. Never had I seen anything like it.

Snoke's mouth curled into a pleased smirk.

"Ah, finally sensing his power, are you? Rise, Kylo Ren." The figure rose, head hanging down, mask still very much in place. "Talia, you are still the mind-expert in our field of the Force, is that correct?" I let out a sigh, agitatedly.

Snoke always asked questions he already knew the answer to.

Another reason we didn't get along. He played too many games, attempted to manipulate - which often got boring quickly when you could see right through it.

" _Obviously_."

Snoke's thoughts were always loud and animated. Once you slipped past the initial wall of defence, that was. His thought process was exhausting, jumping from subject to subject without forming cohesive, complete thoughts. But they did portray what he was about to say, and there was no way in Hell I would ever agree. "And the answer is no, Snoke. Train your own fucking Apprentice how to properly sift through minds."

Moments of silence ensued, and I was positive it was because of an inside conversation between Kylo Ren - and Snoke.

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." It sounded, through a vocoder, distorted. "If I may, I would like to request - "

"He really is as cute as Nyne said!" I chuckled, amused by the man as he turned to look at me, face still hidden behind his mask. "All gentlemanly - polite - at least you've done something right!" I beamed, snickering as the Apprentice moved his head slightly, and I saw his hands twitch at his side.

His thoughts were loud suddenly, invading my mind without trying.

_Who the fuck does she think she is?_

"I'm Talia Millenial, advisor to the Emperor, Sith Lord - and the Sith's very own expert of the mind. And you are?" I said, not missing a beat, curious for his answer.

 _Oh_.

"That's what I thought." I added, as he remained silent - but his thought process resumed.

_She can - she's reading my-, but how?_

"Sorry, did you miss the 'expert of the mind' part, pal? Maybe it got stuck in your bland, distasteful helmet somewhere. Either way, it was a pleasure - See ya never, Snoke!" I chirped, turning my back on the men, who were about to become the biggest nuisance I had faced, ever. I felt resistance as I walked. I didn't have to turn to know it was Kylo Ren, attempting to assert how much of an Alpha Male he was.

I yawned, allowing myself to be pulled back just a single yard. They always got cocky when they believed they'd won.

_There. Not so much of an expert now._

“What was that?" I asked innocently, flicking my wrist and flinging his body upwards, lazily. He came down with a thud, and a crack. I shrugged. A cracked rib, probably.

"I find it hard to believe that a simple girl like you - " Kylo Ren spat, nastily. "- is a Sith Lord."Oh now I really wished he'd cracked a rib. Blithering idiot. So cocky, ignorant. Because of the blood that ran through his veins?

"Is that so?" I questioned, tapping into his mind - and creating a scene, right from his own nightmares. It was always amusing. Seeing powerful men cower in fear. He attempted to breach my walls while I broke his, and I let him. It must've been an interesting sight for Snoke, seeing two capable Force-users spar - without any physical contact.

I led his consciousness to a deep, dark part of my mind. The part where I locked most of my anger away, for safekeeping. I could feel him grow unnerved at what he saw, irked - almost. Meanwhile I searched for a place to break him. A switch to flick, a wall to breach, but found none. Something was pushing me out, pushing me away, stopping me from hurting him - begging me to just stop. And it wasn't him, it was something else. Something different. I pulled out of his mind, unnoticed. And again, used the Force to fling him back, into a wall.

"You dare underestimate me again, and you will regret it, Solo." I gritted, holding my now ignited saber to his chest, half an inch above him. I twirled it around, before attaching it back to my belt. "I take back what I said about the politeness. Punish him as you wish, Snoke. I would say that it's been a pleasure, but it hasn't. Don't contact me, I won't reply." But as soon as I had set three steps out of the room, a sharp pain shot through me, almost like a shock from an electrical current. I looked over my shoulder, to see Snoke, using the broken wall's livewire to-

"Stop, and let the boy go." He obeyed instantly, of course he did. I had no idea why I felt guilty for the pain I'd caused the ignorant - _almighty_ \- Kylo Ren, but I did. So, I levitated the man's unconscious frame, and brought him back to his chambers or well - the chambers the Force told me to go to, healed him, and left the room.

" _So you're Ren's new whore."_

The words lingered in the crisp air of the bland hallway. Said in a sneer, the intent anything but flattering. The mere choice of phrasing had made that clear. The pathetic insult had originated from a properly dressed gentleman, whose face was painted with the endless amounts of stress I was sure serving the First Order had given him. His lips were curled up into a sneer, his entire facial expression mimicking absolute disgust, his eyes menacing as he looked me up and down. 

Fists clenching at my sides, I repressed the urge to lose my temper and throw him into a wall like I had done Ren. Something told me the red-headed man wouldn’t come out as alive as the Order’s Commander. I could easily detect that whoever he was, he certainly had no connection to the Force. In fact, there was only a deep routed envy towards the power of those that were gifted a connection to the Force.

I smirked slightly. 

A bright white, scorching - hatred and loathing for no one other than Kylo Ren himself. 

The chuckle slipped past my lips before I could stop it, and I could see his left eye twitch at the sudden sound.

“I’ll just leave him to die next time, mate - that’s your wish after all, isn’t it?”  
  


The paling of his already-pale face told me all that I needed to know.

“The Supreme Leader won’t be happy about this!” He jeered after me, nastily. He followed after me, hands still folded neatly behind his back as he did so. 

“ _Trust me, General_ \- “ I gritted out, enjoying the way my red-blade reflected in his eyes. “I have authorisation.” He stumbled back, into a wall, eyes darting between me - and my saber. I shot him a lopsided grin.

”I’m not scared of you.” He spat back, straightening his posture to appear more... _threatening_ , perhaps? I couldn’t be sure. The fear in his eyes remained, though.

“Oh.” I spoke softly, feigning surprise. “You should be.” I continued, twirling my saber once, grazing the man’s leg ever-so-slightly. But Maker - was that going to sting. “Didn’t mummy ever tell you not to mess with Sith Lords, _Hugs_?”

I left him like that, hunched over in pain, taking the Maker’s name and any other’s he knew, in vain.

...

“B-But Lord, surely you can’t be seri-“ The words left my lips in stammers, before I was cut off - both from speaking, and breathing.

 _“I will not tolerate disobedience, Talia!_ ” It boomed through the room, deafening. “You _will_ go back to the First Order, and you _will_ aid Snoke in the boy’s training!” The shouting wasn’t necessarily new - but the scowl on his face was unlike anything I’d seen before. “The Skywalker boy is the key to our success, do you understand that?”

My nod was weak, his invisible grip on my throat never faltering. The crushing of my windpipe only releasing after I’d confirmed it verbally - a strangled ‘ _Yes, Lord’_ falling from my lips.

Sometimes I did feel regret for joining the Sith.


End file.
